Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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can you pass the soap?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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