What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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