Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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