why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops