Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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There's my tractor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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