What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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