A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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