Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops