Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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