What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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