What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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my egg roll

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops