What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Cameron is a r e t a r d

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

it was all Tagart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops