There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops