Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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