Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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