There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops