what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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=3

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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