Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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stinky boner

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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