In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops