Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops