A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops