A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

jd and zach loves vigina

How does a black guy die? Unknown

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...