You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops