why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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