What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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