When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops