A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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womans having rights.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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