What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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