Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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quantum physics?

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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