What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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guess what what ...

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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An anti-joke

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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