What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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