It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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