What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

thumb_up thumb_down +9

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops