What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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