Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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