What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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theres a fat guy

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops