A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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A bar walks into a man

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Knock Knock.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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no

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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9/11

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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