There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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