What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops