How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

Potato salad

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

Scott

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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