Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops