Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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