A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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12 niqqa 12.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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