I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Jovan

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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