What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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