Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

Weaner

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

what this: b a dead one of these: p

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...