I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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good looking women

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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