I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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