Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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