Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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no

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops