Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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